We have all been guilty of being self first at some point, myself included, but it does not work. If you give your submission to someone, give it, don’t pretend to give it then dictate how it goes. If you have BOTH agreed where you want to go, work together to get there.
There is a HUGE misconception that the Dom tells the sub just how it's going to be…and that is final. In the real world it's bullshit. A sub has a brain, emotions and is capable of forming her own opinions even if she does not agree with her Doms. This is life, a sub is not a Stepford wife or a blow-up doll.
But…if she has chosen to submit to a Dom, THAT Dom has JUST as much responsibility to actually BE a Dom to her…or submission ends up with her making the rules as she is not getting her needs met.
I am going to leave the sex side out of this for a bit as we all know…well not all…but most of us know there is a greater bond between a Dom and sub than just the kinky sex.
So let's start with the subs
• YOU CHOSE THIS
• If you give your submission to your chosen Dom, give it.
• Be there for him in all areas regardless of whether it suits you or not.
• Support his dreams and be there if his day was shit.
• He may not be able to buy you fancy things, but who cares…it’s just stuff, if he is a good Dom, he is worth more than stuff anyway.
• Rise him up, a lot of men need to learn how to be the man he really is if his confidence is low.
• Don’t dictate how he wants to dominate you, that is HIS choice. Things should have been discussed beforehand.
• Don’t demand a collar or buy your own and make him give it to you (yes it happens), that is also his choice.
• Don’t make the rules, he may see a better way and if you fight against it constantly, why would he bother helping you.
• If you offer submission, but do not submit, you will confuse him and HIS role in the D/s relationship.
• Trust him that he will do the right thing for you even if you don’t agree at the time.
• He is human and will fail you.
• Be patient. D/s doesn’t just happen overnight. You BOTH need to find your feet. He could be an amazing • Dom if you give him time to find where he is comfortable.
• Don’t complain…YOU CHOSE THIS
For the Doms
• BE A GOOD DOM, take your role seriously
• If you are getting frustrated that she is making the rules, this is YOUR fault. Evaluate the situation and where is going wrong and fix it.
• If she is not submitting and just doing her own thing, you are not Dominating her.
• Subs do not want to make the rules, they like the security of you being there.
• Subs need to feel of use to you, and not just in the physical sense.
• If her opinion is different from yours, she is NOT failing you. She has a brain and can think for herself.
• Support her if she needs you emotionally even if you can’t relate. Women cope with things differently from you.
• Chores: Be realistic or you are just setting her up for failure. This is not the 1920’s. If she has a job, kids, outside interests, friends, etc, and the chores don’t get done, she is not a failure as a sub. She is human and has the same amount of hours in her day as you.
• Do not say she is not submissive because something does not go to plan. Look at the situation and yourself and say ‘what can I do to help her make this situation better.
• You accepted the submission she gave you. STEP UP!
You are not trapped in chains, stop fighting against it and work together.
You BOTH have equal responsibility for making a successful D/s relationship work.
YOU CHOSE THIS…enjoy it.
Sully xx
•Footnote
I write from a submissive point of view. Please read the word Dom to Master, Daddy, or whatever you identify as by changing the titles to suit yourself.
I also won’t use W/we, O/our, etc because it is damn painful to read.
Posted By Sully B
Updated : 4th December 2021 | Words : 753 | Views : 4560
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