Communication is not as easy as people make out

We had a discussion in our closed FB group the other morning about communication...so I though I would post this here as well.

I want to say something about communication. What I am saying is from a first hand experience that has taken me 18 years to find peace with.

Via social media, counseling, romantic mems and anything else that is shoved in our faces as the 'RIGHT WAY' of how a relationship should be...we are different with different personalities and experiences in life, so no wonder relationships are failing.

A relationship is classically between two people where there NEEDS to be an understanding from both sides and in saying this, we need to understand and learn the other person. This is a choice we make.

We need to understand that sometimes communication at this point in time is impossible for your partner. This is not about you, not something you can control or force, or something you have done wrong and no matter how hard you try to get them to communicate on a deeper level, some people just can't...and may not ever be able to for their own reasons.

This can be caused by emotional issues, trauma, fear or a million other things. Unless that person CHOOSES to address and acknowledge these things, nothing will change. All they will hear is nag nag nag and switch off even more. Not facing the issue is always the better option for them than facing the pain of what could come out. Leave them be, its not their time.

You, as a partner of someone who struggles with communication will need to weigh up a few things...

• Be prepared for this never to change
• If your partner does take on the challenge of finding the triggers that stop them dead in their tracks of talking about anything on a deeper level...be there for them
• Understand this is not YOUR issue. It's their and only they can choose to change it when and only when they are ready.
• Forcing them to communicate for your own needs will make them retreat more.
• If you need someone you communicate with because your partner is not able to, have a go to person
• Really look at your partner and see the good points first. Are they a good person, do they treat you well...if they do, do these compensate for the lack of ability in communicating on an emotional level.

People grow mentally and emotionally at different rates, so just because someone is not mentally or emotionally where you are at...where THEY are at is right for them at this time.

You can cry and stress over all the same blah blah for years but it gets you nowhere if your parner is not ready.

You just need to love them at their level and sometime THAT can be the ultimate sacrifice for love.

Sully xx


Posted By Sully B

Updated : 7th June 2016 | Words : 482 | Views : 1622

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