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Is there love in BDSM?

Is there love in BDSM?

There are so many different dynamics within BDSM that there is no set in stone rules when it comes to actual love needing to be a part of it one way or another. Many have the desire to find a love match whereas many only seeking a play partner and nothing more. BDSM and the relationship you seek is something only you can choose to custom fit based on your needs both physically and emotionally. Many have committed D/s relationships where “love” is not necessary but is just as deep and committed as one with love.

For me personally there does not have to be “love” I DO however have to “care” for my Dom because I could never surrender myself completely to another unless I cared for Him on a deeper level. I have had play partners but to me, that was not fulfilling enough as I desire a deeper commitment and a D/s relationship not just a session here or there if you will. With the Dominants I have had I have always been very straight forward in my expectations/limitations regarding my emotional needs so we would both know exactly what the other was looking for and if love was necessity for them then upfront I knew we were not compatible and saved ourselves unnecessary vesting of time and feelings. It is crucial to do your best by not only yourself but also your potential partner so neither creates false expectations.

If you want it all and love is something you need within your dynamic be open and honest about it and what you are looking to achieve with them. If you do not want love to play a part then say that without hesitation. No one can predict WHAT will grow in time or won’t. So if love “happens” then so be it but at least you’ll be able to truly start a relationship with someone honestly with all cards on the table and knowing well where you each stand. Communication, as always, is what it all boils down to. Don’t be afraid to throw the “L” word out there, just make sure your partner is seeking or open to the same emotional expectations too.

~Harlow 4/18/2015 BDSM Submissive Sensual Desires


Posted By Harlow

Updated : 16th October 2021 | Words : 374 | Views : 2169

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