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On ‘Bratty’ Submission

On ‘Bratty’ Submission

“I am a bratty little sub, which gets me in a lot of trouble, but sometimes I don’t get caught. Should I be honest with my Dom and tell him the bad things I do, no matter how sore I will be tomorrow?” - Anonymous

You say you’re a ‘bratty little sub’ like it’s something you’re proud of… displayed like a pink and yellow t-shirt with a glittery slogan. I think you like to be dominated as long as it’s sexual, and you pride yourself on keeping your dominant on his toes. And it sounds like he’s at least trying to exert some level of dominance. Establish some guidelines. Follow-through with repercussions. The problem is that you’re not showing him or your relationship any respect. You may be submissive, but you are clearly not submitting to him.

(Sits back while dozens click ‘unfollow’…)

Here’s the thing. Men, dominant or not, are not mind readers. Some may be more skilled than others in the fine subtleties of domination and human behavior, but ultimately you need to open your mouth if your needs are not being met. If you have a strong desire to be held accountable for something that has been agreed upon, then you need to be honest about your transgressions. And really, I don’t even think it’s him you need to be honest with. That goes without saying. If he can’t trust you - with your actions or your integrity - then he needs to find a submissive who is trustworthy and who values her submission.

You need to be honest with yourself. Why are you testing him? Is the ‘rule’ you’re breaking too difficult to abide by? Do you have a set bedtime that is near impossible to stick to? Are you not allowed to touch, but can’t keep your hands out of your knickers? If the guideline is too stringent or you’re so unhappy with it that you’re continually failing to obey, then you need to talk with him about it. If it’s not a limit for him (things like orgasm control are for a lot of dominants), then you’ll likely be able to come to an agreed-upon boundary, one that you respect enough to abide by.

If it’s not an issue of the rule itself, and more an issue of seeing if he notices your misbehavior… seeing what he’ll do… and seeing (squee!) how he ‘punishes’ you… then that is not submission. That is testing. I think it’s pretty common at the beginning of a relationship when people are feeling each other out (hell, I do it myself). Is he who he says he is? Is he the real deal? But when you undermine his will, you are essentially taking control back into your own hands. And that’s fine if that’s what you want. If you want that schoolyard chase, the ‘Haha! Can’t catch me, can’t catch me!’ game, and you want to be naughty, and you want to be ‘punished’… then by all means keep doing what you’re doing. There are a lot of people who do exactly that, who are perfectly happy.

But be honest about what you want. If you truly want to submit to someone, whether or not this guy is the one, then you have to stop playing games. You’re an adult. Use your words. Express what you want… how you envision your relationship - your dynamic - with a dominant… what you need in regard to guidelines, and consistency, and follow-through. Tell him what you need from a dominant partner. Tell him what you’re going to commit to in the partnership.

And then fucking do it.


Posted By Sully B

Updated : 4th December 2021 | Words : 606 | Views : 2970

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