write often about the dance on the fringe of darkness - where the Dominant leads and the submissive anticipates and follows to the best of her ability. With the right music, experience, motivation, chemistry, and trust - the result is breathtaking in its beauty, erotic intensity, and joy.
Here is the rub. I have submissive friends who are hurt deeply by Dominants who see the relationship as only the dance. These players work intensely, engage fully, and savor the bodies and attentions of their girls. Yet, once they are sated - they communicate sparsely and only when pursued. Some flirt online and make comments about other girls’ photos. Others disappear entirely and remain shadows until their loins stir again.
"If He is that much of an asshole, why doesn’t she just leave?"
A slam-dunk - right? The girl should recognize these patterns and move on to find a Dominant who truly understands and embraces his responsibility to love, nurture, care for, inspire, and support his submissive in all she does - right?
Wrong. The most tortuous aspect of these relationships is the way the Dominant draws the submissive in and immerses her in the amazing aspects of the dance. He inspires her to give completely of herself and make herself vulnerable. He preys on her submissive nature - her need to please and to feel loved and appreciated. When pressed - he causes her to feel oppressive, disrespectful, and demanding. Especially if she asks for the truly important caring and support necessary for a bond to thrive.
I have watched beautiful, intelligent, gifted, erotic, motivated girls become infatuated with the dance - fall in love - and be rendered blind to the potentially devastating aspects of neglect and insensitivity.
I doubt any players will ever read this - and I doubt they would pay me any attention if they did. Perhaps I can encourage submissives in this situation to recognize the signs and take actions to protect their hearts and find fulfillment elsewhere.
To any Dominant in a relationship who is devastating his girl with these behaviors:
If you have taken on a submissive as your own in a caring relationship, appreciate what it truly means to be a loving, supportive Dominant.
When you accept a girl’s gift of herself - body, mind, heart, and soul - appreciate just what it takes for a girl to believe in you, love you, and trust you so completely. Only the best Dominants can truly appreciate the strength it takes to do this.
Never - ever - take this for granted. If you do - you will cause her to feel guilty, used, and vulnerable. Remember - you are not here just for the dance. This is not only about great kink and sex whenever you feel like it.
You are your girl’s guardian and the keeper of her heart. Appreciate what you mean to her. You are her Dominant or Master. You may also be her teacher, mentor, adviser, lover, coach, trainer, friend, confidant, dance partner, and soulmate.
Your girl is ultimately responsible for her own happiness and fulfillment. You should inspire her, nurture her, and motivate her to be the best she can be in all she does.
Never forget - you are your girls one true mirror. She primps for you. She works out for you and wants to look her best for you. She yearns to be your hunger, your passion, and your craving. She gives greatly of herself to be able to feel this.
Be the reflection of this love and devotion. Tell her all the ways she is beautiful to you. Compliment her when she works so hard to please - both in the moment - and when you are apart. Let her hear your sounds of joy - and let her always see the love and caring in your eyes.
Be her Dominant - handle with care - and you will be blissfully happy.
© Fringe of Darkness, 2013
Posted with approval.
Posted By Fringe of Darkness
Updated : 30th July 2017 | Words : 649 | Views : 10959 | Comments : 1
i am new to the whole dom/sub thing. my girlfriend is a sub and i want to make her happy but at the same time i dont want to over step my boundries. i could really use some advise on this.
Posted By jeff totten on Thursday 22nd June 2017 @ 23:54:30