There is a dangerous illness in the D/s lifestyle. This illness is "Naive Sub Syndrome."
This Syndrome is a common, yet not widely talked about, affliction seen specifically in the submissive community most often within the female population. This is also associated with a similar illness called "Sub-Frenzy." There is not yet a vaccine, though we hope they develop one soon as this psychological illness causes much destruction, especially mentally. We hope it is included in the DSM-5 so that it can be properly diagnosed and treated.
The Symptoms of Naive Sub Syndrome include:
•Near-immediate adoption of strict submissive behavior even when the relationship is still in the very early stages of development
•Supposition of a male's Dominant status without requiring sufficient proof of such status
•Putting the need to "prove" how submissive they are ahead of all other factors
•Not putting new relationships under scrutiny
•Rushing to physical and emotional intimacy with complete strangers simply because they identify as "Dom" or "Top"
•Falling "in love" with a new Dom or Top within days or weeks of meeting them.... or even before meeting
•New subs who rush to play with new Doms/Tops without making "safe call" arrangements
•Idealization of Dominant Men as White Knights who would never do anything wrong or act selfish
•Instantly trusting a stranger simply because they have a title of "dom."
•Ignoring "Red Flags" and signals of a relationship's problems because of an incorrect notion that submissives should not "make waves" or speak up
•Will exert a great deal of energy to please others, may be self-sacrificing, and constantly attempt to seek the approval of Dom
•Will not ask for, require or demand equal effort in return from the dom for their physical and emotional efforts expended
•Emotional regression
•Abdication of a sense of personal responsibility for one's own choices and/or life
•Fear of abandonment
•Staying with emotionally or physically abusive male Doms or Tops in the name of "service"
•Change in personality, morals or standards for the sole sake of pleasing and seeming attractive to a Dominant
•A misunderstanding that lust, passion and play equate with love, devotion, and deep caring
•Denial of the Self
•Occassionally linked with Dependent Personality Disorder or Co-Dependent Personality Disorder
•Making interest in kink or dominance the only deciding factor in forming relationships, to the exclusion of most other factors
•Asking "permission" to leave relationships they are no longer interested in staying in
•May become self-doubting and prone to very poor judgement/decision-making
•Denial of unhappiness & misery associated with the relationship
•Not holding Dominant men to a behavioral or ethical standard
•Letting doms "off the hook" for bad behavior because of erroneous thinking that doms can do whatever they want
•Spending 100% of time together in play or sex and not growing the non-sexual or "vanilla" parts of the relationship
Often, such submissives are left shattered after said "relationships" end. Commonly heard are the following phrases:
"I didn't see the end of the relationship coming."
"But I was soooo devoted to him."
"I was the best sub I could be, even though he didn't treat me as well as I wanted."
"But he told me (x,y, and z)... and I believed him."
"He said he would take care of me & love me but all we do is play & have sex and he doesn't seem to want me around for anything else."
"Even though he spent very little time with me, I was completely devoted and did not date anyone else."
"He is my online Master and even though we've never met I love him completely and am devoted to him."
"He called himself a "Master" so I thought that meant he would automatically care for me & look out for my best interests."
"He was my long-distance Master and I believed him when he said he had no one else on the side where he lives."
"I knew he was married, but I thought I mattered more to him than I did."
"I knew he was poly and even though I'm not, I loved him too much to leave."
"Yes, we rushed into play/intimacy almost immediately but I thought it would last."
"My Master left me suddenly but I won't move on with my life until he comes back and removes my collar."
"He has a few subs but he won't let me date other people, even though I hardly get to spend time with him because he has to spend time with all his subs."
"But he said the 2nd sub would not be living here."
"Subs don't leave, no matter what. They have to wait to be released."
The POINT:
Subs - Do not assume just because a dominant gives himself a title that he will automatically care for you deeply or look out for your best interests. There's no built-in "honor code" in bdsm as much as we'd like to dream there is. Do not assume that just because someone is "dom" that you should turn off your dating filters or forget about your self-protective instincts. Vanilla women don't get engaged after 3 dates so is it really wise to decide to have someone OWN you after 3 dates? Just because we like bondage, roles & handcuffs doesn't mean people can't treat you poorly. Value yourselves a little more dear submissives and make a dominant PROVE he is worth your devotion before you make him the center of your universe.
Courtesy of
Insatiablesub on Fetlife.
Posted By Insatiable Sub
Updated : 8th April 2015 | Words : 862 | Views : 5198
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