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Being her Dom, even when you're not being a Dom

Being her Dom, even when you're not being a Dom

If you've ever been in a scene or witnessed one where the Dominant and submissive move in unison with one another and the scene becomes a tangible, living testament of their understanding of each other, it can be amazing, inspiring and beautiful beyond words.

But when you're in a relationship, it's not all scenes and it's not all roses. It's extremely fucking difficult at times to know how much to try and Dominate the situation and how much do you just let it breathe and let things develop a little bit more organically, without trying to manipulate the outcome and giving your partner a chance to voice their thoughts in a open and honest way. Because there's reasons and a time for both approaches, it's just never easy to understand what exactly is needed and how you chose to handle an issue is often times a lot more fucking important than the issue itself.

There will be some who read that and think, if there is a power exchange in place then of course the Dominant should try to control the situation and solve things that will benefit both parties but is done through the will of the Dominant being implemented. Then there are those who would say, that when two people are having conflict with one another, then any sort of label goes out the window and they are both equally responsible for handling the problem at hand. That there is no power being exchanged in the midst of conflict because neither party is able to truly execute their respective roles if the other one is not fulfilling theirs.

You wouldn't be wrong with either thought per se, but I personally don't think either one covers all situations and I think there is a lot of gray area when it comes to conflict resolution in a power exchange relationship. Not only am I not an expert, but I fail many times to handle things properly. I'm still learning and more importantly we're still learning each other, which is more important than any predetermined expectation of what we're supposed to do based upon our respective roles.

Every issue and every moment will have its own needs. The most important thing you can do to get through your problems is to understand there is no one size fits all solution for everything, that you have to be engaged, connected and respectful with each other.

Yes, I'm her Dom. That's not a title that just means I get to set rules, command her to her knees and get to use her body for my Sadistic and Sexual pleasure, it means she's my responsibility. Even in those moments where she's being anything but submissive, where she's angry or hurt or a multitude of other emotions that don't feel good to be the recipient of and the last thing she's going to do is listen to me as her Dom.

Those are the moments to be her Man instead and listen with careful attention and try to qualm the situation in the best manner possible. That's always the tricky part and just trying to Dom the situation won't always yield you the results you want, unless sleeping on the couch was part of your master plan.

She's my submissive always, but she's always my partner as well and our communication should always reflect that.

As a couple, you'll often forget the problems you've had, but you'll always remember how you handled them, more importantly, you'll be that much stronger, when you've handled them together. You can't Dom your way out of every situation, but you can always still be her Dom even when that means just acting like you're her Man and listen to her in a way that shows you give a damn about what she thinks.

That you've not only listened to her, but you take that knowledge and through decisive actions show her how much you value her feelings.

That's being her Dom, even when you're not being a Dom.


Posted By Innermind

Updated : 15th October 2021 | Words : 670 | Views : 2992

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