Thinking Before Speaking

Often we get folks outside of BDSM who visit our page either by chance, they see it on a friends feed or search in curiosity which is awesome and we love helping those who seek enlightenment on what BDSM truly is about. You come by choice, and that is fantastic and we welcome everyone that is here for the right reasons. It is your choice as well to not agree with this LS and leave the same way you came. If coming on to a page and commenting on thing’s you know absolutely nothing about and try to make others feel judged is going to make you feel better, then I have to say, your life is lacking in general and you should look at yourself first, find something actually productive to do vs wanting others to join you in your childish behaviour.

Now, let me clear up some thing’s pertaining to comments/misconceptions/assumptions I have been seeing from those that are obviously too lazy to actually educate themselves and learn before they judge BDSM and those who belong in this community.

1) BDSM is abuse. — Let me assure you that for those of us that actually are in this lifestyle it is by choice and BDSM is not abuse because there is consent. The moment there is no consent is the moment it no longer can be deemed BDSM. When there is abuse there is no permission granted to be abused. The abuser simply abuses WITHOUT consent. The abuser DOES NOT STOP when being asked to stop. Huge difference and very clear.

In BDSM the moment you utter a safe word all actions stop, there and then period. Safe words are there to ensure we follow the common principles guiding relationships and activities within our community commonly known as “SSC” meaning “Safe, Sane & Consensual” Are there abuser’s masking themselves as Dominant’s? Absolutely! Just as there are abuser’s masking themselves as loving caring partner’s in ANY relationship.

Our community constantly reinforces to all that if you encounter these masked abusers you use common sense just as you would in a conventional relationship and get out as soon as possible, don’t be fooled into being told that this is normal because it is BDSM. This is where learning and educating yourself is crucial when wanting to enter this LS. Do not blame the BDSM community for your own lack of using common sense and taking the time to actually learn from valid sources vs what you read in fictional novels or see in movies. Reality is never the same as fantasy folks!

2) You have no respect for yourself if you’re into BDSM. — Actually, I LOVE myself and respect myself so much that I DON’T settle for less and live this LS because it fulfils me on all levels more so than ANY vanilla relationship(s) I have ever had. Can you say you are 100% fulfilled in yours? The difference between you and I is that I am NOT afraid to be who I am and quite honestly, who are you to have a say as to how or what choose to do? You’re life means nothing to me so why is everyone else so important to you to even care? Again, I would reference you back to your life lacking that your own ignorance and bitterness makes you want to drag others down with you. However I am secure enough in who I am that I find these comments laughable and I can only sit here and just *smh*

3) You must have had abuse/mental issues in your life to be into this.– NOPE! Hate to break it to ya, but fortunately I was blessed to not have encountered any trauma’s in my life, grew up with a very loving family and have no mental disorder’s or disabilities of any sort, and guess what? There are a million folks out there just like me too! I know, shocking huh?!

4) You will never have a loving relationship in BDSM.– Well, who guarantee’s you ever finding one in ANY lifestyle?? I have to laugh every time this is said because it ALWAYS comes from those who 1) have no clue about BDSM other than the basic “it’s all whips and chains, degradation, hard core S&M” and 2) They have no experience to be able to compare a BDSM one to a conventional relationship!

I have not had one single vanilla relationship that has been as all consuming in passion, honesty, trust, commitment, RESPECT & LOVE than I have in this LS and I would never go back to a standard one. I’d rather be single the rest of my life because in vanilla relationships there was so much missing not just in the bedroom but especially out of the bedroom where it is most important. When you take the time to learn you will see that BDSM is not all kink, scenes & fetishes.

There are much more of us in deep long term committed relationships than there are just people who do not want anything more than some kink for fun. This is a way of life for those of us that choose to live it 24/7.

In order to truly understand anything in life we must learn about it, research and educate ourselves much deeper than how thing’s may appear at face value. Until you have done that you truly cannot make an EDUCATED nor valid argument on ANYTHING!

I hope those that are visiting our page, be it by accident, curiosity or intentionally, learn some more about BDSM, not to convert you by any means, but simply so there is better understanding which will lead to acceptance of others vs assuming and many times insulting our way of life. If BDSM isn’t your thing then no problem, we are not asking you to come and interact, you are here by your own choice. You choose to stay or go but don’t disrespect and demean us while you’re here :)

~Harlow 6/31/15 BDSM Submissive Sensual Desires


Posted By Sully B

Updated : 16th October 2021 | Words : 1009 | Views : 1208

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