Communication: No matter where you go within the community, communication is the one thing we always preach should be at the forefront of not only the relationship but we also have to ensure it is at the forefront of each and every one of us as individuals. This goes for ANY lifestyle and without it you and your relationship will fail. If you have issues properly communicating you really need to take a step back and realise the impact of the lack of this on your end will be extremely harmful to your partner. Try to be cognisant of that before you waste someones time when you know already you will not be able to give them this most crucial and essential part in order to have a healthy and cohesive dynamic.
Honesty: Oh the dreaded “H” word! I cannot tell you how very important this is, yet it is the hardest thing for many to be. Without complete and utterly brutal honesty everything else starts deteriorating. Yes being honest can be difficult at times but unless you make yourself be so then all you will end up doing is repressing everything inside you and it will just be a matter of time before you explode and by then it may be too late to salvage what you have. You may not like what you hear or what you have to say but I highly doubt that you prefer to be lied to as an alternative.
Consistency: Be consistent in everything that you do. Your actions overrule your words and words many times are empty where actions are not. Demonstrating consistency sets the tone to how your relationship will be it also shows stability and brings balance. When we feel most out of sorts it is often time because you are “missing” some element within your relationship that has started to falter or been put on the back burner for a certain amount of time. We are all creatures of habit and expect and need consistency on different levels in order to feel complete.
Effort: This is very simply put this way, there is no one person putting forth the effort. You and your partner(s) should always be putting 100% effort into your relationship. It is not fair to anyone otherwise and if you or they are not giving 100% then you need to seriously consider why you are continuing to put in all the effort into something that is not wanted mutually or why you are wasting someone else’s time when you are not vested enough to want to put forth the effort.
Body Language & Tone: It's so very important to be mindful of your tone and body language when communicating because that in itself will set the stage on either person being at ease and willing to discuss vs feeling defensive from the start. Try your best to avoid serious conversations from developing in text formant, those are the most common ways to be misunderstood both in meaning and especially in tone because text do not convey any emotion so you are completely blind to how the person is saying it, meaning it and feeling. If you can't do it in person then do so at least on the phone. If either person is starting to get too heated then you need to call a time out and give one another a break to calm back down and be able to continue and finalise the conversation. By doing so you will avoid saying something you may regret later that you do not mean. We are all human and we tend to let emotions rise so be cognisant of when they are getting there before the erupt. Be respectful of one another, there is no need to talk down to, raise your voice or disrespect when communicating. You can get your point across much easier being genuine but keeping your emotions in check.
Openness/Acceptance/ Willingness: All three of these go hand in hand. You must have openness within yourself and your relationship along with acceptance of one another as much as possible with a willingness to work together to deepen your foundation and bond which will create one another to feel safe to explore any all situations or topics that may arise without holding back.
Listening: There is a difference between hearing someone speak vs listening to them. You need to truly listen to one another and understand what they are trying to communicate to you about. If you do not understand then tell them so but do not just agree to agree because then you're not listening. You may not agree and that's OK because often times we simply won't but we will have a better understanding of what and how someone is feeling by truly paying attention when they speak and mutually will feel understood and heard.
Resolution: The worst thing you can do is repress your feelings or shut down and simply walk away to not have conflict. Resolution is absolutely necessary in order for each person to move forward and not hold resentments on unfinished issues. Address them asap and do not let them fester or else a minimal issue will result in a bigger problem later on that could have been resolved from the start. Again, if you need to agree to disagree that is OK and that is also resolving the matter then and there as long as everyone agrees so you can move forward.
~Harlow 3/7/16 BDSM Submissive Sensual Desires
Posted By Harlow
Updated : 30th July 2017 | Words : 919 | Views : 1454
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