Pushing limits is vastly different than NOT adhering to limits and or safe words.
Safewords are there for the sole purpose of just that, to keep one "safe" when one is feeling too far out of their comfort level to continue with what is happening.
The safe word, once used, is NEVER to be ignored period. The Dominant has the responsibility at all times to adhere to it and be alert as well at all times in the event it is used.
The submissive has a responsibility as well to use their safeword because no matter how much or little the Dominant knows you, they are not mind readers and only you can determine what is too much for you. Do not put your Dominant in a position of feeling bad if they end up going too far simply because you did not want to safeword for whatever reason.
Pushing limits is a part of our lifestyle and it is what makes us grow not only within ourselves but also in turn helps our Dominants grow and learn too. Limits for the most part are pushed slowly depending on the situation and comfort level and should not happen overnight or all in one scene/session. There very well may be certain Hard limits you have set in stone that should NOT be tested or pushed unless you allow it to be so.
Submissives, if you find that a Dominant is not adhering to limits or to what you are clearly stating is absolutely non-negotiable, then you should be well aware this is not a responsible person and you are putting yourself at risk of getting hurt. Do not ignore the warning signs or patterns you may see, thinking it will get better, because it won't.
Dominant's, if you find a submissive who right off the bat says they have NO limits I caution you to be wary. Everyone has limits, big or small, they are there and anyone who says they don't is one... not being honest, and two... clearly has no concept of the LS regardless of what they tell you.
It is also your responsibility in the event that the sub does not utilize their Safeword, to stop if they feel you cannot take more being the one in control. You should also enforce a Safeword even if they say they do not want one.
Both are equally responsible to keep within the SSC principles and keep one another safe. Trust your gut. Communicate your concerns. It should never take more than one conversation for a Dominant to realize they are not adhering to your limits or visa versa for a sub to adhere to the Dominant's safety protocols they have set in place for you if they feel you are being reckless with your own safety.
~Harlow 12/28/14 (revised 1/29/16) BDSM Submissive Sensual Desires
Posted By Harlow
Updated : 4th December 2021 | Words : 473 | Views : 1243
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