I love it when Dom’s are not too proud to ask for advice. They genuinely want to learn the skills to be a better Dom for their own submissive, and sometimes to do this…you need to go to another submissive to see how they tick.
One thing that stands out a lot is they find it hard to get their submissive into the submissive mindset, this happen a lot, specially if they are both new to learning each other. And yes, I say that a lot…but you need to learn each other as no two people are the same, nor is what they will relate to.
Quietening the mind is a skill but there are things that you can do to help this.
The brain is capable of learning very specific things and association these specific things with pleasure. For those familiar with Pavlov’s dogs you will know what I mean. Its conditioning the brain to respond in a certain way. But since your submissive is not a dog…what do you do?
Cater to the senses and alter them. Here are three tips that can help.
1. Sound - The bigger passion killer is not only the surrounding environment, its also the noise and thoughts going on inside the head, for most women this never stops…as in ever. Work, kids, family etc all stay in the fluffing around for no good reason.
This is where headphones come in to play, they isolate the sound so no outside sound can be heard.
But don’t play random music…play only a specific music, it could be anything you choose, something that is not heard on a every day basis and only play this music at intimate times. The brain will associate this music with pleasure and eventually is can just play in the background in the bedroom when play is happening.
I personally love the piano, so I like the sounds of Yiruma who is a pianist from Korea. His music is lovely.
2. Blindfold - Once you take away a subs hearing and sight, things change. Some may feel other senses like touch become more intense so they become very switched on, and for others it can put them into instant submission where they are very chilled. Both are normal reactions.
But remember, it is YOUR responsibility to read her body language. She can’t hear you and she can’t see you, so when I say you need to learn her…do it. She is in your hands now and you can make this a positive or a negative experience for her.
3. Scent - Buy a specific candle that is only burnt during play, or better still, wear a cologne that you only wear in that moment. She will associate this smell with submission…and you. Going back to Pavlov’s dog, just the smell will alter her mindset. And trust me, the smell of a man can be very intoxicating if it associated with something pleasurable.
I can’t stress enough that you need to be mindful that you make this a positive experience, you don’t want her to associate anything negative with what you are trying to do. She is venerable, don’t go shoving in a butt plug because YOU want to, or using wax if she is not prepared for it, remember she can’t hear you and she cant see you. You are re-wiring an experience for her…do your best and make it worth it.
This will take time to master, don’t try once to twice and give up on her for not doing what you want. Her brain has been wired the same way for years, you can’t alter it is a few sessions. Depending on the woman, it can take a few weeks or quite a few months.
It’s your skills as a Dom that will be needed here, and you will learn a lot about her because you will HAVE to watch her every move. You will lean her breathing pattens, the way her body moves if the scent of you is close. Learn her, read her and challenge yourself. You will learn a lot about yourself as well.
Good luck with trying this out.
Sully - Beautifully Bound
•Footnote
It was brought to my attention that I should include all dynamics in my writing…no…I write from a submissive point of view. As a fellow adult I don’t need to ‘hand hold’ you and tell you specifically how to think. If you are incapable of changing the word Dom to Master, Daddy or whatever or sub to male sub, slave, little or whatever you identify as you really should not be reading this. I also won’t use W/we, O/our etc because it is damn painful to read. Change the titles to suit yourself…because you have a brain capable of doing that and I have no need to patronise you by thinking you are incapable of doing so.
Posted By Sully B
Updated : 2nd December 2021 | Words : 812 | Views : 2254
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